What you don't know about hotels

I work in the hotel industry. It's not that bad a job, lots of downtime and all the continental breakfast I can eat, not to mention wireless internet. But as I sit here at the front desk, I've been thinking about all of the things people just don't understand when they travel. Here are my favorites...
1. Prices aren't the same across the nation. At least once a week, someone will tell me that they stayed at this chain in Grant, Nebraska or some such place for only 19.99. We are the Capital of this state so we don't honor the rates of a hotel 1000 miles away.
2. You need a credit card to stay. Yesterday a guy came in and had a wad of one dollar bills wanting a room. I explained we (and everyone else) require a credit card. His response was that this is the United States of America. I agreed and said we still need a credit card.
3. Desk Clerks (aka guest service agents) are not required to know every fact about every business in town. A lady asked me where the nearest scuba store is. Since I am in the midwest, I am guessing it is a thousand miles east.

And now for the secrets about hotels that can be helpful...
1. You can negotiate (to a point). If we have 100 empty rooms, we are probably willing to go down a few bucks. If we are sold out, we get to raise the rate on you.
2. The internet deals are not deals at all. Those priceline, travelocity, hotwire, etc. places have a few problems. One, you can't cancel once you book. I get that once a week. Two, they tack on five to twenty bucks to your reservation so they make profit. They find our lowest rate, add their extra and then sell that to you. I might suggest you call the hotel to find out the rate and then surf online.
3. The nicer you are on check in, the better your room will be. Not all rooms are identical. The desk clerk gets to pick where to put you. If you are rude, your room will not be as nice. If you are nice, you might get a free upgrade.

So, America, thanks for traveling and staying at this hotel. Now go away and please come again soon.